You've got an excuse for everything.
"They were perscription!"
"I couldn't find your lab, but I found a lab!"
"I can't pee with you watching me!"
"My stepmom's been a real b!tch since she killed my dad!"
Is it just me, or what?
. . . how do they decide every week who gets to drive forward & who has to drive in reverse?
It wasn't Meth, it was sugar that the evil stepmother was putting in his gas tank....Oh, wait...wrong evil stepmother. Never mind.
ReplyDelete...and she wouldn't let him out of the house to go to the ball either...Oh wait! That was the wrong evil stepmother too. Never mind.
ReplyDeleteAre all step moms evil? Nope. Just in fantasys or NASCAR.
ReplyDeleteAt least now we know what she poisoned the apple with.
ReplyDeleteOops, wrong stepmother again. Never mind.
Tony gets to drive foward every week cause he smells better
ReplyDeleteLike I said on Hanny's blog -- oh no Mr Helton, you dont need shrinks in NASCAR -- Jerry Springer would be a better option you are right!
ReplyDeleteNo Photo, not all stepmoms are evil. Just the ones we hear about.
ReplyDeleteThere ya go, Speedy. You got the hang of it!
ReplyDeleteGuido, I wouldn't know, but I'll take your word for it.
ReplyDeleteK, I thought of you big time when reading
ReplyDeletehttp://www.azstarnet.com/sn/sports/301059.php
about Jason Myers, the car chief who was wrongfully terminated after a couple of episodes caused by his depression. If you're still taking suggestions, I think you should ask Helton your question again.
Wasn't it the step-mother who ate the breadcrumbs?
ReplyDeleteI wonder who's door the Nascar Pee Patrol will show up at next?
IG-
ReplyDeleteNo, the evil stepmother told dad to abandon Jeremy in the woods, and Jeremy left a trail of breadcrumbs to find his way back home.
Dang it- wrong evil stepmother again. Never mind.
The evil stepmom got honey poured all over her feet, and the bear licked it off, while camping with the reunited twin girls -- oh wait, they never got married. Not a stepmom. Never mind.
ReplyDeleteThe evil stepmother was bringing up three very lovely girls. All of them had hair of gold like their mother, the youngest one in curls. Wait a minute- that stepmother wasn't evil. Never mind.
ReplyDeleteYou guys crack me up...
ReplyDeleteYea, I saw that Jason Myers post too and someone said something on twitter about it and I put something up saying how Helton said no need to me. I think I will re-up my attempts to offer my services around the garages!
Upon finding a wire hanger in Jeremy's closet, the evil stepmother woke him from his sleep and beat him mercilessly with the offending object. Oh wait, she wasn't a stepmother, she was just evil. Never mind.
ReplyDeleteThen there was the nun-in-training who went to work as a governess for some Austrian widower and his 7 bratty kids. She tamed them by sewing clothes out of curtains and teaching them to sing. Eventually, the handsome captain dumped his golddigging socialite fiance for the nanny, escaped the Nazis, married said virgin, and made her hills -- oops, I mean *the* hills -- come alive.
ReplyDeleteOh wait! Not evil. Never mind.
Was she the British widow who traveled to Bankok with her young son to teach English to the royal children and wives? Oh wait, never married, not even romantically involved. Never mind.
ReplyDeleteI thought she was the one who always sang "A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down." Oh wait, she wasn't the stepmother. She was the nanny. Never mind.
ReplyDeleteWait!!!!! I remember now!!!!! She had style; she had flair; she was there...
ReplyDeleteDarn. She was the nanny, too. Never mind.
She could've been that older woman who lost her job as a TV personality, and in order to keep some control, decides to make life hellish for her son's fiance, which is fine & dandy till the young one begins to fight back.
ReplyDeleteOh wait! She was the mother-in-law, not the stepmom. Never mind.
Actually, I think she's the lady who always called him by the wrong name and causing all sorts of trouble for him.
ReplyDeleteWait! She wasn't a stepmother; she was just a witch
No, I think it was the pretty woman photographer who came along and dated the dad. She could do nothing right in the mom's eyes, but then the mom was diagnosed with a terminal illness, she lightened up, and they lived happily ever after -- well, at least through Christmas anyway.
ReplyDeleteWhat? Wrong stepmom again? Never mind.
No, no, no. It was the woman who joined her children's musical group, and the toured the country in a multi-colored school bus.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean she wasn't a stepmother????
Never mind.
Are you sure she wasn't the former playmate who married the old guy for his money? He croaked months later, and to her dismay, she wasn't in his will, bringing on a huge old court case. Eventually she had a daughter, lost a son, and then OD'd on perscription Rx's. I bet she was Jeremy's supplier!
ReplyDeleteOh wait, wrong evil stepmom, but getting closer. Never mind.
I'm absolutely certain she was the one who made Jeremy sleep in a closet under the stairs and wouldn't let him attend the school he wanted. He managed to escape to the school(with the help of the groundskeeper) where he obviously excelled in his potions classes.
ReplyDeleteWhat? That was his aunt? Are you sure?
Never mind.
Then there was that one time I went home with some family after a wedding. The evil stepmother cornered me and opened her blouse. She said, "Don't these look spectacular?" All I could think of was motorboat.
ReplyDeleteOh wait, she wasn't evil at all!
I'm pretty sure she was the queen whom, along with the king, upon hearing their son's fate from the soothsayer, had the son's feet bound and sent Baby Jeremy with a shepherd to be abandoned in the mountains. Jeremy was adopted by the neighboring King & Queen of Polybus, and heard his fate that he'd kill his father and marry his mother. Not knowing that he was adopted, he left the only parents he knew.
ReplyDeleteHaving fulfilled half his prophecy so far, how do you think Jeremy's story will end?
Oh wait, Jocasta was his birth mother. Never mind.